Whenever I fly, I usually leave my magazine in the seat pocket. I do this because once I forgot a book and I learned the capacity for ironic enjoyment of SkyMall tops out at about 15 minutes (which is probably why Family Guy episodes feel too long).

One time I found a used air sickness bag, but in all my years of flying, I’ve never found a non-airline-sanctioned magazine in my seat pocket. Part of the plane cleaner’s job must be to throw out all foreign reading material. Sort of like in Tehran after the election, but with less media hype about Twitter.