For most people, growing up happens slowly, over a period of years. It happens so slowly you don’t even know it’s happening until one day you stop thinking of yourself as a kid. This moment is closely correlated with the first time you purchase boxed wine unironically.

Interns should be a prerequisite for any organization that’s going to try to influence people. If the Tea Party organizers had hired a couple 19-year-olds for the summer, I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t have a bunch of middle-aged white people running around with the word “TEABAGGERS” on their t-shirt.

When everyone started learning how to use wi-fi security, the biggest casualty was the disappearance of all the shared music libraries that used to show up in iTunes. Gone are “Tuna’s tunez,” “gettobanga,” and “Untitled Music Library.” Now all I see is my roommate’s music. How worthless. We already stole each other’s music years ago.

Pilots get a bad wrap these days, but that job is harder than it looks. If a pilot passes gas, his co-pilot is definitely going to know it was him. Surgeons have the same problem, but at least they can blame it on the guy they are operating on. One of the unwritten side effects of having a major surgery is being unfairly blamed for at least two farts.

Google’s algorithm for deciding who to put on my GChat list is surprisingly good at identifying people I want to sleep with.

Living in an apartment means you usually learn more about your neighbors than you necessarily want to know. This isn’t a big deal until you realize the lack of soundproofing does not only apply to your neighbor’s apartment. I just want to apologize for that time I learned a Miley Cyrus song on guitar at 3am to impress a girl I brought home.

It worked, but I guess you already knew that.

Why does the default calendar view in Outlook and other email software start the week on a Sunday and only show times until 6pm? It’s depressing to think that someday I won’t have plans after sunset and that I will think of Sunday as the start of the next week.

Thanks to Nintendo, my default reaction when something isn’t working correctly is to turn it off, blow in it, and turn it back on. It is surprising how often this works.